On January, Life and Alex

First few shots of Mombasa Sunrise by Sami Khan

It rained two nights ago. I have just realized it’s been awhile since I last smelt the rain on the ground or swallowed a chestful of fresh damp air, just like it’s been awhile since I last wrote here yet so many days have passed and so many things I’ve wanted to tell you like about January, Life and Alex.

January came only for a brief visit; I feel like I just offered her some hot coffee and after a couple of sips amidst talks on the year to come, she announced she had a bus to catch, no it wasn’t the coffee. But before she left she introduced me to Alex. Alex is the little boy I met for a short time on that Sunday afternoon at the Cancer ward for kids. It was my first time, Shanis invited me, it’s something she does on most Sunday afternoons; spending time with the kids.

I didn’t talk much to him; Alex. It was a mixture of a lot of things, like the fear of getting attached, the lack of the right words to say or maybe saddened by the fact that his face showed a lot of pain. Two weeks later I got a text; it was Shanis telling me that Alex was gone. Just like that.

It’s the second day of February and here I am at 5:17AM thinking about January and Alex, about the brevity of life and purpose. And in a way these thoughts have deepened my longing to live for God. I don't want to just live, but to live an abundant life. And I'm learning that an abundant life is not necessarily in the length of days we live or the material things we accumulate here on earth but life in God, which is eternal.

There has to be more to life, really, and I want to find the ‘more’. I don’t want to wake up one day and realize I have been chasing after the winds. On my everyday journey through this life I want to find my God given purpose on this earth.

I found this poem by Claudia Minden Weisz (the mother of a Rett Syndrome child) thought I'd share it.

And God Said No

I asked God to take away my pride. And God said "No".

He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give it up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said "No".

He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience. And God said "No".

He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness. And God said "No".

He said He gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain. And God said "No".

He said suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.

I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said "No".

He said I must grow on my own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said "No".

He said He will give me life, that I may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.

And God said "Ah, finally you have the idea!"