On Sunday I felt suspended between the familiar and unknown, between fear and faith and I tried to convince myself that everything would be okay. Right now my mind is occupied by big little worries and mundane responsibilities that must be done. There are things they don't tell you about growing up; like not being able to understand lyrics of a new ‘hip’ song, but in this case it's the mounting needs and harder decisions to be made.
I slept and woke up to the very thing that troubled me yesterday. In an attempt to elude the ache that seems to wait around my every thought and the knot of undissolved emotion in my throat, I decided to lower the noises of the world and let little voices of peace and love talk to me instead; that of God and yours.
You called and said you were going to be there and in those simple words, I knew everything would be okay and all the worries seemed silly and my faith grew stronger.
All along you have been there, loving me out-loud with your actions, caring, listening and understanding even when I was undeserving. I was oblivious of this until one day I woke up and realized that you had gradually become part of my life and my reality, like that familiar tune that plays in my mind when I wake up in the morning…but sweeter.
And now when I think of the sounds of bass guitars and soothing music by Esperanza Spalding , I think of you. But when it all goes quiet and I can't even hear the music, I have you and your unconscious humming of jazzy tunes under your breathe.
I know that life has it's struggles (like now) and there will be hard times but at the end of the day, after my worries, all I have left is God and His promises that He has everything under control. I also have you; my escape and lastly, my promise to May; that this month I will not hold on to life too tightly in case I squeeze out all the joy it has for me.
Without struggle I don't believe humankind would be able to appreciate the gift of life. Life is beautiful. Life is a struggle. Life is a Beautiful Struggle.' – unknown
I so love the way you write. hang in there, everything will be ok. We also loving and caring for you from far. Big Hug. Gikobwa
ReplyDeleteMay will be a month of more blessings.
ReplyDeleteI like the positive thoughts in the last line.
Have a great may.
I needed to be lifted and i just knew where to come... Thank you hun.. This is truely your calling...
ReplyDeleteXX
So you talking about both God and your man right? i'm confused lol, but yea this is well written
ReplyDeleteThere must be a need for faith in the air, because I am right there with you. I too, am trusting in and holding on to the fact that God does indeed have it in control. No matter if I can't see it that way right now, it will and always does work out for the best. Keep clinging to Him, friend, and know that things will look up. :)
ReplyDeletea beautiful struggle indeed. may your May be a blessed one.
ReplyDeleteThe answers always lie in the stillness within. Keep humming, listening and quietening this may :)
ReplyDeleteGlad you know your identity is in Jesus. Keep it that way.
ReplyDeleteJust so i know, is this about your Man.. or about someone else?
ReplyDeletesorry,sometimes i take a while to read through and understand some written stuff.
@Everyone ~ thanks guys, wish you a great month ahead full of blessings.
ReplyDelete@Normzo & Neefemi ~ Its a little about Him,him and the month of May :)
@Gikobwa& Ugirl ~ thanks lovelies.
@ jayversusla, PH, carolkmail & Angela ~ Thank you guys. This too shall pass.
Second time here and i dont know what to say.
ReplyDeleteGlad you have Him and He's taking good care of you.
All the best this month of may. Yu deserve the best.
Life is definitely a beautiful struggle, but we often realize this after our struggles are OVER. LOL. I really love this post.
ReplyDeleteGood stuff gal
ReplyDeleteI feel like your words were meant for me. such beauty and joy found in those words. How did you develop your craft? Teach me..
ReplyDeleteOh-mi-tricia-mi-gosh!!!
ReplyDeleteThe little secret's out now. I've found your blog and... errr... fallen in love!!!!
Love everything - the picture so reminiscent of Athi plains and that wind there that speaks of freedom from the chained liberty education promises; the layout - so simple (read: striking); and the writing - omigosh - the writing!!!
I love your style. So lucid and flowing!! Deep, too.
Sometimes things can make you break, but when you do you shouldn't let it happen again. That's where I'm at.
ReplyDeletethanks for the tip and I do need to get back to reading. any suggestions? and what should I be looking for?
ReplyDeleteYou are so very, very beautiful. xoxo
ReplyDelete@ Princely ~ Finally you have unveiled my secret..:)
ReplyDelete@MarjnHomer ~ You are most welcome.
@ Kerrie ~ :) Thank you.
I like the new header! Nice. I liked the ending sentence. about not holding this month so tight that you squeeze all the JOY out of it....
ReplyDeleteBlessings
Patrina <")>><
I particularly love the part about easing your grip on life. We should take things in stride -- each day as it's presented from Him above. :)
ReplyDeleteYou've always rocked for me as a writer...God see u thru
ReplyDeleteThank you Patrina, Rose and Sleek! Appreciated
ReplyDeleteLike what you've done with the place.
ReplyDeleteBe happy.
You are arguably the most eloquent writer I've seen in quite a while. You just take words and construct them into beautiful works of prose and canvases. It's like you're the ringmaster and they're the animals, subservient to your whip and demands. Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog! I'll be sure to follow yours.
ReplyDeleteyou are invited to follow my blog
ReplyDeletethis is a wonderful story of faith in God.
ReplyDeleteToday i remembered that i walk by faith and not sensory perception and i walk that way everyday...
nice!
I hope you are feeling better at least some. "A beautiful struggle" is such a great way to put it. Very true.
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ReplyDeleteI needed this today. Thank you :-)
ReplyDeleteThe quote at the end is beautiful!
ReplyDeleteVenture a small fish to catch a great one. ............................................................
ReplyDeleteSubtlety is better than force. ............................................................
ReplyDeleteI love your writings. Some of them bring tears to my eyes- it's like you words perfectly describes my feelings, thoughts, struggles, breakthroughs, lessons and pains. xx
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