Woman To Woman

I think its time we sat down,
Woman to woman
To compare our notes
And settle the scores.
Let’s skip the introductions
But please take notes
Because this is vital information
I know you are his girlfriend,
But I’m his wife; the mother of his children.
Why do you look shocked?
You thought this was some courtesy call?
I already knew about you
It’s called female intuition, hotel receipts and cheap perfume.

Woman to woman,
This time he truly out did himself.
You look better than I expected,
A lot like me when I was younger
But two sizes smaller.
Don’t be scared.
I won’t hit you.
Not because I can’t
But because I don’t want to resort to violence.
Let me guess,
You must be 26, with a basic university degree,
And here you are creeping with my husband Charles
Just because he gets your rent paid,
Your hair did and he drives a Cadillac.

Pssshhhhht…
Woman please…
Woman to woman
This is an old story
I’ve seen this before.
But I know you’d rather be the one
He cheats with
Than the one he cheats on.
You are no different.
He’ll get you addicted
Then before you know it,
You’ll be just like Beth, Mary and Allison


I know all about the silent arrangements.
You have him on Saturdays
I get him on Sundays,
You get the weekend getaways,
I get the leftover days.
I know on Valentines he gave you expensive jewelry
And I only got the groceries...
But I’m not complaining.
Woman to woman
I just wish he would be precise
When he is getting his conjugal rights,
Coz I’m tired of him calling me Ashley
When I know my name hasn’t changed from Tracey.

So what does he call you?
Baby, Sweetie, Honey
He calls me all that too
Psssthttt…
I know this man like the
Back of my hands
I got ten years of marriage under my belt.
I’ve memorized his tired lines
Tired of looking after his tired arse.
Woman to woman,
I wonder how you put up with him at all
Oh... wait a minute, you still on the honeymoon period.
Then He’ll take up his fishing rod
And look for the next blonde.


Honey,
Take a hard look at me...
Woman to woman,
I have no job with three kids
A big house but no marriage bliss.
So when you’ve looked long enough
I suggest you run for the hills
Coz in a year, maybe two
This will be you,
A stay home wife
Knocked up with his third child.

It was nice having this conversation.
I wanted to make myself clear so
We avoid future confrontations.
And before I forget,
Don’t leave those flirty voice mails on my answering machine
Coz next time you do that,
I promise it will get ugly.
Just so you don’t forget.
You are his good time,
His one, two, maybe three night stand
But I’m his wife, and at the end of the day
He sleeps in my bed.


So woman to woman! I demand some respect!
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© 2009 Tricia.M.